THE STRANGE STORY OF THE BROKEN HEART
by
Robert Farmilo
In the theater of entwined, romantic, love relationships...there are often strange anomalies that begin to show up during "the relationship."
One of these oddities comes along when the two people in "the relationship" begin to define the role they are going to play.
This can sometimes appear as one person being the most dominant and the other person being more submissive.
The areas of dominance and submissiveness can be nuanced and shared. However, when it comes to specific, critical areas of control, like money...the dominant person usually applies certain "control mechanisms" to manipulate the submissive person to NOT question too much the status quo.
This is okay for some couples...but not for all couples. I think that we can fall into bad habits of giving up our personal power over some important areas of our personal life----all for the cause of keeping the peace.
Keeping the peace does not always equal "keeping the happiness."
Is there a natural desire to be happy?
VIDEO: HOW TO BE HAPPY EVERYDAY
What is there but the desire to be happy, and the search for meaning, the "why factor" of your life---often frustrated by inconvenient intrusions of the consequences of all you do, think and feel.
The true complete is probably when you step into your own power by confessing that you are self-aware enough to know you ARE guilty of bad words, bad thoughts, bad feelings and perhaps some acting out, too.
The acting out part is part of the larger story of how all this is related to drug addiction.
Not the kind of drug you smoke, inject, drink, snort or otherwise take into your body from outside your body.
The drug I want to tell you about is made inside your own brain.
This kind of drug is in good supply right now, in your brain.
>>> https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/neurosagacity/201701/the-brain-can-work-against-abuse-victims
>>> https://welldoing.org/article/can-you-become-addicted-to-anger
>>> https://welldoing.org/article/can-you-become-addicted-to-anger
When you are in a conflictual ongoing relationship, there are many reasons why people stay together, perfectly miserable, fighting all the time, layered with toxic emotional abuse, and a heaping helping of the emotional tyrant mixed in with a big wallop of that submissive deal, cringing in the long shadow of the dominant controller.
There is a dependency that is created from such as this. And it is sick and wrong and malformed.
Human neurobiology rewards anger
>>> https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/culture-shrink/201508/angers-allure-are-you-addicted-anger
Is there hope?
My prescription is a realistic assessment, using personality tests to determine what is really going on.
A deep diagnostic to help inform potentially useful therapies to heal the escaped abused "submissive."
VIDEO: 10 Relationship Red Flags of Abuse
But there needs to be more. You need to find out if there is an organic source that is part or all of the problem.
The brain is an organ. Isn't it?
So, investigate for brain damage or related pathology.
So, investigate for brain damage or related pathology.
Like other emotions, anger is experienced in our bodies as well as in our minds...so there are drugs released in YOUR body when you get angry----AND you get addicted to these drugs!
Is there a way you can really see what you are really doing so you can maybe change the way you are?
You can always fantasize, and weaponize virtues. For example, make and use a truth gun and shoot yourself with it.
Are you ready to own up to the truth? What would the Cosmic Camera show us, really?IF your life and all that went on was a live feed and recorded, what would you sound like, do you think? What would you look like while you live your life? What would the live streaming video of your life show us all?
What kind of vibe would you be giving to the world you touch? The people in your world, the way you relate...how is that going for you?
Don't sugar coat me, here.
Or give the escape hatch a go, either.
What escape hatch?
Well, sort of like this example:
What escape hatch?
Well, sort of like this example:
Please, none of that "stay positive" at all costs, or perhaps your resistance to getting all off your "law of attraction," and lose the vibe of being in the good vibe (because you don't want to attract the very thing you are not wanting to attract unto you).
How about you get surgical and cut the truth out of your diseased self-absorption?
To begin this surgery, please ask yourself this question:
What was your role in the ongoing spousal, boyfriend/girlfriend, so-called "relationship" deal, with what started out as some sort of attraction to each other?
(The role that was enough to get you to be really entangled with that other person...you know the one.)
You probably used to be lovers. Not sure what your exact story might be. When it happened, and what that part of your relationship...you know----the SEX part----what that brought to the matrix of your synaptic grand opera...and how this speaks to the aforementioned drug addiction created by living inside the drug high given to you by your very own brain, and all those clever synapses.
The so-called neural receptors and the now-famous chemicals that alter mood and give you a high. Only it probably doesn't feel like a high, exactly.
Here is one part of that "high."
When you do something to please the dominant person. And if they are nice to you,
it makes you feel good. And you like that feeling. So you seek it, often even when you are not really wanting to be nice other than the fact that you know it off-sets the dominant persons darker, bad cop.
The dominant person can often appear to be both the "good cop" and the "bad cop."
Certainly, when the dominant person is in a sunny mood, they are not always that tolerant with the wavering affections and possible noticeable symptoms of the submissive person being resentful.
The resentment of the submissive person comes from a dose of not feeling like his own feelings are equal in importance, at the very least, to the other person in "the relationship."
Ironically, the dominant person often feels like the submissive person does not consider their feelings to be as important as the submissive person's feelings.
How tedious this all is.
Right?
If you want to live with the person you are in conflict with, and the various quizzes and tests reveal that you are in a toxic, dependent, angry, relationship, packed full of hurt feelings, resentments, and you are having secrets to protect yourself, oh----it is such a list, and I haven't even scratched the surface. (NOTE: I have ended it here to invite you to finish this.)
Okay, now it is your turn
Can you please add some other parts of the story. Write what you want to say to wrap up this article.
Do it now, in the comment box. Open to anyone. Go for it. Share it, like it, whatever.
See if anyone else out there wants to leave a toxic relationship...or is just about to----you also might have just managed to flee.
And got away.
At least for now.
Write right now, right now, write.
Comment Box, go now----finish the story.
NOTE: More parts of the world of me me me.
Come and check this out:
Maybe you want to work as an English Tutor?
OR do you want to find teaching and learning resources that you can get for FREE?
-----and IF YOU are a non-native English speaker
AND
IF YOU...
...for seven days complete each of the six steps, each day...
I promise you...YOU WILL a notice a nice difference, and improvement across the board.
-----includes---------
SPACED REPETITION
TESTING EFFECT
PATTERN RECOGNITION
Plus the PRACTICAL and REALISTIC
ENGLISH LANGUAGE WORKOUT (ELW)
ELW quickly builds in non-native English students (beginner, middle and advanced) be able to answer questions clearly and know what is going on around you.
CHECK IT ALL OUT ---------something for everyone, all ages and abilities.
Comment Box, go now----finish the story.
NOTE: More parts of the world of me me me.
Come and check this out:
Maybe you want to work as an English Tutor?
OR do you want to find teaching and learning resources that you can get for FREE?
-----and IF YOU are a non-native English speaker
AND
IF YOU...
...for seven days complete each of the six steps, each day...
I promise you...YOU WILL a notice a nice difference, and improvement across the board.
Listening----Reading----Writing----Speaking
Synergistic Power created by using this learning and teaching model-----includes---------
SPACED REPETITION
TESTING EFFECT
PATTERN RECOGNITION
Plus the PRACTICAL and REALISTIC
ENGLISH LANGUAGE WORKOUT (ELW)
ELW quickly builds in non-native English students (beginner, middle and advanced) be able to answer questions clearly and know what is going on around you.
CHECK IT ALL OUT ---------something for everyone, all ages and abilities.
Some gifts for you to share with people you know who like this kind of stuff.
Could be you might be telepathic...without even knowing it.
The first offer is one of the great classic works----esoteric and unbelievably believable----
NEXT
Your own special concoction to share.
This is the lesson that deals with the power of guilty shame...and shaming guilt.
NEXT
The strangest book continues with an all out, best ever offer to you.
So
get it while you can. This offer could be taken down without notice.
No comments:
Post a Comment
What is your story? What do you think of this idea: "There is your version of what happened, and then there is my version of what really happened, and then what really happened. Tell me what really happened. I am asking for some honest self journalism. Give it 'till it quivers. Good luck!